Protein Cheese Straws

• 2 cups whole wheat flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 2 sticks low fat butter, at room temperature
• 2 cups shredded sharp Cheddar, at room temperature

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F.

Sift the flour, salt and cayenne into a bowl and reserve. With an electric hand mixer cream together the butter and cheese. Add the flour mixture 1/2 cup at a time until the batter is smooth. Scrape the batter into a 1 gallon resealable plastic bag. Cut a corner from the plastic bag and on an ungreased sheet pan, pipe 2 rows each for every straw, about 5 inches long and 2 inches wide.

Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove to racks to cool.

*Stolen from Paula Deen, altered by yours truly.

Damn it, Janet.....I love you...

Told you I would start everything out with a musical theatre reference. HA.

JANET

Janet is just about one of the sweetest, quietest, caring ladies there ever was or will be. After watching the show, she asked the director about me and commented on how confident I was on stage. One thing led to another and my director (God bless her and her big mouth) told Janet how much I wanted and needed the surgery but was unable to pay to copay.

Now let me just get this straight right now. I had a PPO, paid for all my pre-surgery testing, etc. and the surgery still had an out of pocket pay of well over $11,000. To which I answered, "Will you take a check?" PUH-lease!!! $11K! 11K!!!!!!

I don't have that!?! I work at a local paper barely making minimum wage. I didn't know how I was going to pay for it now or ever. AND door closed.

So, I just prayed. I prayed that God would allow me the surgery whenever and if not I just prepared my heart for a life-time of aches and pains and general big-ladiness.

About a week after the first show, the then box office manager, my gay and good friend David had a message to relay. Janet wanted to pay my copays for the surgery.


WHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA?!?!??!?!??!?!?

Who? What? When? Where? Why?

Who: Janet, head usher and angel
What: My surgery, duh!
When: As soon as I was ready!
Where: Desert Regional Hospital with the uncomprable Dr. Bobby Bhasker-Rao.
Why: Because, and I quote..."You're too good to be in the back row."

So, with that statement another angel got their wings and I was put on the operating room schedule for May 13, 2008.

The very beginning..

a very good place to start.....when you read you begin with...AB....sorry my musical theatre refernces are neverending.

Anyway, I started the post with a theatre reference because that's exactly how I got my surgery.

In Summer of 2007, I was given the role of Sonia in Godspell. Now, anyone that knows Godspell, knows how PHYSICAL that show is.....why they chose a 460 pound woman to take on a role in that show...I'll never know.

At any rate, rehearsals were brutal. 6-10 everyday with 8 hour rehearsals on Saturday and Sunday. Did I mention I had an hour car ride back and forth? GAH!

So, during rehearsal I would don my knee pads, smile, jazz hand and sing my way into theatre history as the largest actress ever to do a 2 hour show with 1- 15 minute break. As we broke every even after rehearsals, my good friend Jenn would usually drive home. As we got to the car I could feel the release building. As soon as we got to the car, I would double over in pain. Why pain? Well, I weighed 460 pounds and was doing the job of an average sized person and did I mention that I have degenerative arthritis in my knees, hips and ankles?

As soon as we got out of the parking lot, I would burst into tears and the occasional moan. I was in so much pain I could hardly stand it. But, I would BE DAMNED if I let anyone tell me I couldn't do it. Maybe some of the dances were changed to accommodate me, but I still did a bang up job, even garnering myself a Best Supporting Actress nomination form the Desert Theatre League!

FAST FORWARD TO SHOW TIME....

As my part called for, I was supposed to go into the audience (feather boa in tow) and play with them....say all sorts of off the wall things, etc. Well, one of my trade mark lines was, "Does this boa make me look fat?" OBVIOUSLY. Any more maribou and I would have been Big Bird. This line ALWAYS killed them. It was ridiculous and comfortable. I wanted to let them know it was okay to laugh at my big-ladiness. Or was it??

I'd always made people laugh at my weight. At the size you have to make people around you at ease. Don't you?

That line, that silly, "look at me I'm fat" line came in handy. One of the ushers watching the show was amazed at how comfortable I was and was perplexed as to how I could call attention to myself with out being embarrassed. She is my friend, her name is Janet and she is an angel.

I've been gone....

t00 long!

So, I've made a promise to myself and friend that I would write something, anything on this blog everyday for a month. At least.

Let me first explain WHY I've been gone.

SCHOOL.

Since I've been on my weight loss journey and having the surgery generously for me (more on that later), I've decided to pay it forward.

The only way I could pay it forward was to become a bariatric nurse. I started nursing school in the Fall of 2009 and am going strong.

That explains my absence, now why do I all of a sudden have a burr up my butt to write??

Well, it all started on a fateful day in November of 2009. My boss called me in and fired me. End of story. No more money, no more insurance, no more creative outlet for writing. For those of you that don't know, I was a writer for a local paper....more on this later.

THE BURR

My good friend, adventurer, spaz, sweetheart and personal heroine Maggie Downs decided to write a story about me for the Desert Sun. What's the Desert Sun you ask? The Desert Sun is a Gannett owned, locally driven paper.

Anyway, she is writing a piece on "Gastric Bypass: What happens next?" So, I sat down with her at a coffee shop and poured my heart-out. I regaled her with tales of pinching my giant arm flaps on my deck chair at work, having to buy size 16 when I'm really a 12 and the like. Hopefully the story will go into a series as I have the plastic surgeries to (in the words of Quantum Leap) "put right what once went wrong".


So, I've decided to blog more to keep you abreast (giggle) of my story...


So, let's start at the very beginning...

Havarti Mac N Cheese

SO GOOD.

1 package (8oz.) Havarti Cheese (I use dill flavor)
1/2 cup milk
1tbl. low-fat margarine
I package whole wheat pasta (anyshape...I like twisties)
Fresh Parmesan

Make pasta acorrding to package.

Heat milk, margarine and hunks of havarti over med. heat.
Fold into pasta and top fresh parmesan.

Bake at 350 for 20 mins. or until it's brown and bubbly.


This does have a bit of fat content. But rich in protein and fills your pouchie nicely--especially when CRAVING carbs.

Enjoy.

PANCAKESSSSS!

Okay...this recipe is easy enough.

Make some pancakes according to the Bisquick box.

EASY PEASY.

THEN...


2 tbls. cream cheese
1 tbls. lemon juice
1/8 cup honey
splash of milk


Blend.


1 whole banana
3 tbl. olive oil
3 tbl. honey

Slice up the banana. Saute in oil and honey for 5-8 minutes.




Plate up the pancakes. Put on cream mixture. Then add hot bananas. YUUUUUUMMMO!

Back!

I'm back. And I'm bakin'....

Apple Crisp is today's choice. I'm making it for my boy toy. Who bought the apples for me when we were in farm town.

5 Fiji apples cut up
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup margarine/butter
cinnamon to taste
nutmeg to taste
salt (pinch)


Rinse and cut up apples into bite size pieces.
Spray cooking spray into a 9x9 casserole dish.
Dump the apples in.
Mix all the dry ingedients together while melting the margarine/butter.
Mix the wet ingredients with the dry.

Bake @ 400 degrees for 15 minutes. Check for a light/medium brown crust. Bake until crust is light/medium brown.



Eat. Amen.